I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it would like if I were to live more deliberately–with more intention and purpose–and what it would mean to those around me.
I feel as though, most of the time, I spend my days in a haze of training up my children to not whine with every breath they take/sweeping crumbs off the floor/refereeing fights over whom the plastic piece of pizza belongs to/making lunch/doing dishes/and on and on and on it goes. I know most of you who read this blog (and I love all three of you so dearly) are in similar season of life.
And please don’t misunderstand, I’m not griping about my life. I love my children and I am reveling in the new independence I see each of them claiming and owning in recent days.
But, often times, at the end of the day, if I’m honest with myself and look really far deep down inside, there is a quiet, but persistent, voice saying, “Okay, this is awesome, but…..isn’t there more??”
I can honestly say it doesn’t come from a place of discontent, but rather a place of longing for more intentionality in my days. A place of wanting to be available and sensitive to the promptings of the Lord in these days. To not be so busy and scheduled that I can’t be there for those around me. To not be so occupied with my life that I lose sight of being a blessing to others in my sphere of life.
This is not to say that I am ignoring the needs of my family. As a stay-at-home momma, Matt and our wee people are of paramount importance. And in this particular season, the kidlets are tiny. They are all-consuming vortexes of physical and emotional need and there are days (heck, there are minutes) where it’s all I can do to pour into them and give them what they need.
But I don’t want to miss out on those moments that God has for me to be Jesus to others, either. I want to sit and have coffee with my girlfriends and make snickerdoodles with the kids and then take a bunch to our neighbors. I want to be able to drop whatever we’re doing because we have the flexibility to change our plans at the last minute. I want to really live and drink in these moments and open my eyes to how I can be a blessing to those around me. To not be busy for busy’s sake. To not say ‘yes’ to every activity because, sometimes, it’s too much and we need to rest and just be.
I’m still figuring out what all this purposeful living is about, but from what I’ve seen and the changes I’ve felt happening in our house since Matt and I have started to slow down and really measure and protect our time, I like it. I like the freedom I have to move as God directs and know there is value and purpose to our actions.
There is so much noise going on all around us, all the time, and it seems to me we just keep losing a little more of what really matters because we can’t silence ourselves and move with what Sarah Bessey calls the “unforced rhythms of grace.”
I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for more silence (literally and figuratively) and greater purpose.